So The holidays are here again, and with the holidays come home a great many people that I know. They're all slowly trickling in from colleges across the country. Specifically one college a few hours south of here. The U of I. My best friends go there. I'm really excited to see both of them because I miss them when they're not around. A lot. I'm sure there are some other people who are happy that they're coming home, because Andrea means I won't be squatting at the apartment of Michael Lovely and Alex Peters. I get the impression that Alex would prefer if I weren't here. That's a whole other story though. They've both been really wonderful to me, especially Michael. Especially Michael. I like that boy.(He's reading this and blushing or something similar. Thanks for letting me use your computer!)
The problem doesn't lie in where I'm staying or Julie and Andrea coming home. Those are all reasons that I'm feeling less and less fucked up. There's one thing that's hanging there waiting to explode. that little time bomb is coming home from Urbana right quick, and I'm too chicken shit to detonate him in person.
I've been surrounded by people named Michael since I was little. There was blond haired Michael, then Michael from school, then the disappearing Mike Robinson, Then Mike %!>@+, now Michael Lovely. Maybe I have a fixation with the name.
Mike %!>@+ is the one causing me problems right now. He's been in love with me since high school, and I don't know how to reiterate that I'm not in love with him. I keep telling him, but it's hard to tell someone you don't love them when you're topless. Well, they don't believe you. I never loved him, and the novelty of sleeping with him has worn off. I don't know what to do. So, I'm hoping he reads this and understands that I was never his girlfriend, I have no intentions of being his girlfriend, and that he shouldn't hate me for getting bored. It was bound to happen, I had no romantic interest in him. If he doesn't read this (which he may or may not, most likely not), then I'm still in deep shit and I still have to explain to him that he can't keep trying to fuck me. I won't go along with it anymore.
Interestingly enough, all of this was laid out for me by an ex boyfriend... he's a better friend than I ever could have imagined.
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Anastashia, please take this post off the internet. He does have family that do not need to read this. He is a close friend, and I know that he has helped u out when u needed it. I know that his family would be deeply hurt by this not to mention what it would do to him. He's been through too much already.
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